you'll never date in this town again

sometimes it definitely feels that way.

savannah is so cynical she thinks she needs to move back to the city to date. and i'm inclined to agree with her. every guy i like has baggage. i think maybe they secretly do like me and maybe they're telling me these things to suss things out. but no. they really are obsessed with someone else, and don't like me that way.

i'm sick of this. i used to be attractive! does being in your 30's suddenly make you less attractive?

i don't get it. i'm smart, funny, and cute. i'm not even looking for a boyfriend. just people to date, see a cool show, go to a nice gallery, have a drink, have fun, good conversation, and a few notches on the bedpost. and it's not even notches on the bedpost. some itches are meant to be scratched. but it looks like i better just get down to some novelty store and get a rabbit, because that's about the only thing that's going to actually want to be near me.

and now i'm getting fatter and more disillusioned and i'll never find anyone to date in this town. it's not even about finding someone to love. i look deep inside myself and to be honest i'm not looking for the one. just some nice people to sleep with. but that doesn't happen because all the nice people are hooked up already, straight or gay.

so i am trying to reconcile myself to the fact that it's going to be just me. and that's fine, if only i can have someone to bonk sporadically. is that too much to ask for?