chocolate is not a substitute for sex
i don't know where this myth of chocolate replacing sex comes from.
i'm going through a phase where i have no appetite for chocolate.
i don't really have an appetite at the moment. but i am hungry. so i've been eating cookies and pringles and frankly that's only going to make me balloon up (as will the vodka). my body must be such a wreck at the moment, with the junk and the nicotine.
instead on focusing on making my relationship work, instead of taking michaela's advice about putting the spark back into what i currently have, i'm obsessing about the lack of interest from spy guy. we met up on friday, to look at some of his writing, and then had a drink after. as we headed to the bar he immediately set the scene with the i have to be up early tomorrow line. it was true, he had to, but man it's been a long time since someone said that to me. and i don't like it when i'm not the one saying it. we still had a good time, and i guess the tone of our relationship is changing, to that of friends. which is not a bad thing. who wants to date someone who works in national security anyway? it's a dangerous job, there's too much travel, and half of the time you have no idea what they are doing. and it's not like you can discuss your day in detail, though he did tell me about some adventures he's had.
we walked home, and at the crossroads to his place we said goodbye. he gave me a peck on the lips and i kissed him back, whereupon he pulled away. i'd like to think it's because he finds me so irresistible he can't even kiss me without wanting to carry me upstairs and tear my clothes off. but i get this feeling he's decided this thing between us is probably a bad idea and he's trying not to fall into anything. i feel like such an idiot. i'm mad at myself for feeling sad that he's not into me. not that this relationship can go anywhere. but a night of hot sex would have been quite desirable.
i hate feeling disappointed. it's this awful feeling of being let down, when you know you've set yourself up for the fall and you're the one who's letting yourself feel this way. he asked if i was around this weekend and i said yes. he asked on saturday night if i had plans on sunday afternoon, and i'd replied i had lunch but nothing after that. and like some stupid sixteen year old, i was hoping to hear from him the entire evening. of course he never called.
i'm going through a phase where i have no appetite for chocolate.
i don't really have an appetite at the moment. but i am hungry. so i've been eating cookies and pringles and frankly that's only going to make me balloon up (as will the vodka). my body must be such a wreck at the moment, with the junk and the nicotine.
instead on focusing on making my relationship work, instead of taking michaela's advice about putting the spark back into what i currently have, i'm obsessing about the lack of interest from spy guy. we met up on friday, to look at some of his writing, and then had a drink after. as we headed to the bar he immediately set the scene with the i have to be up early tomorrow line. it was true, he had to, but man it's been a long time since someone said that to me. and i don't like it when i'm not the one saying it. we still had a good time, and i guess the tone of our relationship is changing, to that of friends. which is not a bad thing. who wants to date someone who works in national security anyway? it's a dangerous job, there's too much travel, and half of the time you have no idea what they are doing. and it's not like you can discuss your day in detail, though he did tell me about some adventures he's had.
we walked home, and at the crossroads to his place we said goodbye. he gave me a peck on the lips and i kissed him back, whereupon he pulled away. i'd like to think it's because he finds me so irresistible he can't even kiss me without wanting to carry me upstairs and tear my clothes off. but i get this feeling he's decided this thing between us is probably a bad idea and he's trying not to fall into anything. i feel like such an idiot. i'm mad at myself for feeling sad that he's not into me. not that this relationship can go anywhere. but a night of hot sex would have been quite desirable.
i hate feeling disappointed. it's this awful feeling of being let down, when you know you've set yourself up for the fall and you're the one who's letting yourself feel this way. he asked if i was around this weekend and i said yes. he asked on saturday night if i had plans on sunday afternoon, and i'd replied i had lunch but nothing after that. and like some stupid sixteen year old, i was hoping to hear from him the entire evening. of course he never called.
posted by londoncitizengirl at 1:08 PM
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