banging my head against a brick wall

i was in cab heading down to hudson street for dinner when i got a text message from the guy who stayed over but never called. an explicit semi-completed text which made me wonder what on earth he got up to that night when he knew i was away.

a bit of text bantering later he called. at some ungodly hour of the morning for him. i have no idea what this means - and we're not talking romance here, just hooking up. it was nice, a bit of distraction really from harry burns. who i stupidly and drunkenly texted about eight hours later, embolded by the saucy text from another man and copious amounts of vodka.

which was just ridiculous because all my friends are telling me to play it cool. and i know they're right but i just don't. it's like relationship kamakaze. i have no idea why i seem to specialise in that. harry never texts me out of the blue, and certainly not when he's drunk. he calls his ex instead.

he's made it explicitly clear that he's not interested and i'm certainly not stupid enough to try and convince another flake to enter into a relationship with me. it sounds like i need to go out more and have more distractions. starting tomorrow night.