i'm so delusional.
the one who got away was being kind, to make sure that he wasn't hurting me with his moved on life. and he was going through great efforts to ensure that i didn't feel left out or excluded.

and i had to go create a fantasy world, all deluded, and mistake kindness and friendly brotherly affection for something latent that did not exist. i am so ashamed and frustrated with myself for reading into something that is not there.

still kicking myself. ouch.