does the one equal the end?
how do you know if someone is 'the one'?
here's a theory.
maybe those who have met 'the one' are just people who exist better as a couple than if they were an individual, and thus want to be with someone. which predisposes them to meet the one. whereless those of us who enjoy singledom despite the loneliness it can bring find it much harder to meet 'the one', because our criteria for the one impinges on true happiness.
at least that's the theory a friend and i came up with recently. said friend has partner and they are very in love and happy, but this friend of mine over a few beers was relaxed enough to suggest that even that may not be enough. what does it take to commit? his partner is visually stunning, scores full marks on a personality and intelligence test. but on a commitment level i do not know how she fares. i would imagine that she would be a loyal partner, but a chance meeting three years ago does not confirm anything to an outsider. yet they are a truely golden couple. the prom king and queen. but i sense he has a bigger thirst for adventure than she does. the slap a pack on your back and to hell with everything sense of adventure that makes him alive and attractive because of a spirit that is true. the more sensible girls i know would say that is a sign of immaturity and insecurity at not being able to settle down and face life like a man, which i must say i totally disagree with. if something isn't yours, you will never be able to keep it no matter how luxurious and disguised the cage is.
but, my friend's true scenario aside (of which i am truely ignorant), i think he has a point.
maybe those who meet the one and proclaim they've met the one are those who are looking to meet the one. they aren't idealistic like my friend michaela. they are truely ones who do not want to be alone. so mr or ms average becomes the knight in shining armour. the maiden who has to be saved.
maybe my friend is right. some of us just value being alone and having our freedom so much that we will always wonder about what else is out there. maybe it's because our thirst for life and love and adventure means we will never be satisfied - not even if we meet a true soul mate who shares the same thirst. or maybe we are just insecure and trying to find ourselves and confusing this insecurity and wall around our true feelings with independence. maybe we were hurt so badly once upon a time we put it behind us and forever are closed off to the people who we can truely love wholeheartedly because we know their ability to hurt us - an ability of which they are ignorant - could destroy us for a long time. who knows.
my friend caitlin once thought she found her soul mate. we were young. 20, 21. i didn't really trust this guy. he was shifty looking, but she loved him so we welcomed him into the family. not as well as some partners we truely liked, but enough and genuinely making him one of us.
then caitlin takes off for the ski season. and looser boyfriend misses her, but is so cash poor he needed to borrow money from her for a ticket to visit. and she, blindly and stupidly in love, agrees. he says he's wired the money into her account to repay her. but guess what? the money ain't there and he's blaming the bank. i'm sorry sista, you're a smart girl but no bank these days will loose a transfer - no, correction. no man is so stupid he does not take proof of a transfer - or take the effort to press the bank to confirm his actions.
and caitlin breaks up with him - or maybe he breaks up with her - a year or two later. to the point where caitlin's rough and tough brothers (if you can imagine park avenue rough and tough men) threatened to castrate this guy if he ever got close to her again.
but i can't believe caitlin's guilibility. that she believed him when they stood on a cliff looking onto the ocean when he said 'our souls just touched'. maybe i'm a cynic. but if you've only know a boy for a week or two and he tells you that on your second or third date, ain't it a sign to run?
maybe i'm just hard. or scared of getting hurt. but i can't buy into the bullshit. and something tells me i'm not alone.
how do you know if someone is 'the one'?
here's a theory.
maybe those who have met 'the one' are just people who exist better as a couple than if they were an individual, and thus want to be with someone. which predisposes them to meet the one. whereless those of us who enjoy singledom despite the loneliness it can bring find it much harder to meet 'the one', because our criteria for the one impinges on true happiness.
at least that's the theory a friend and i came up with recently. said friend has partner and they are very in love and happy, but this friend of mine over a few beers was relaxed enough to suggest that even that may not be enough. what does it take to commit? his partner is visually stunning, scores full marks on a personality and intelligence test. but on a commitment level i do not know how she fares. i would imagine that she would be a loyal partner, but a chance meeting three years ago does not confirm anything to an outsider. yet they are a truely golden couple. the prom king and queen. but i sense he has a bigger thirst for adventure than she does. the slap a pack on your back and to hell with everything sense of adventure that makes him alive and attractive because of a spirit that is true. the more sensible girls i know would say that is a sign of immaturity and insecurity at not being able to settle down and face life like a man, which i must say i totally disagree with. if something isn't yours, you will never be able to keep it no matter how luxurious and disguised the cage is.
but, my friend's true scenario aside (of which i am truely ignorant), i think he has a point.
maybe those who meet the one and proclaim they've met the one are those who are looking to meet the one. they aren't idealistic like my friend michaela. they are truely ones who do not want to be alone. so mr or ms average becomes the knight in shining armour. the maiden who has to be saved.
maybe my friend is right. some of us just value being alone and having our freedom so much that we will always wonder about what else is out there. maybe it's because our thirst for life and love and adventure means we will never be satisfied - not even if we meet a true soul mate who shares the same thirst. or maybe we are just insecure and trying to find ourselves and confusing this insecurity and wall around our true feelings with independence. maybe we were hurt so badly once upon a time we put it behind us and forever are closed off to the people who we can truely love wholeheartedly because we know their ability to hurt us - an ability of which they are ignorant - could destroy us for a long time. who knows.
my friend caitlin once thought she found her soul mate. we were young. 20, 21. i didn't really trust this guy. he was shifty looking, but she loved him so we welcomed him into the family. not as well as some partners we truely liked, but enough and genuinely making him one of us.
then caitlin takes off for the ski season. and looser boyfriend misses her, but is so cash poor he needed to borrow money from her for a ticket to visit. and she, blindly and stupidly in love, agrees. he says he's wired the money into her account to repay her. but guess what? the money ain't there and he's blaming the bank. i'm sorry sista, you're a smart girl but no bank these days will loose a transfer - no, correction. no man is so stupid he does not take proof of a transfer - or take the effort to press the bank to confirm his actions.
and caitlin breaks up with him - or maybe he breaks up with her - a year or two later. to the point where caitlin's rough and tough brothers (if you can imagine park avenue rough and tough men) threatened to castrate this guy if he ever got close to her again.
but i can't believe caitlin's guilibility. that she believed him when they stood on a cliff looking onto the ocean when he said 'our souls just touched'. maybe i'm a cynic. but if you've only know a boy for a week or two and he tells you that on your second or third date, ain't it a sign to run?
maybe i'm just hard. or scared of getting hurt. but i can't buy into the bullshit. and something tells me i'm not alone.
posted by londoncitizengirl at 4:12 PM
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