the buzz

how important is chemistry in the grand scheme of things?

for a one night stand, quite essential. for a shag buddy, i'd say it's a mandatory. but for a relationship, i guess you're lucky if you have it, but compatibility and love are more important.

in between friends though i think it is crucial. not sexual chemistry, but just people chemistry. i know my whole crew have it with each other. it's a buzz you get from seeing each other, or even seeing their name on the screen of your cell phone.

the whole chemistry thing is top of my mind because a few days ago chemistry boy came over and we ended up answering the question which had been on our minds for the past few weeks. it was a good answer. and it turns out the chemistry is there even when we're sober. i'm slightly confused, as i've met another guy who is lovely, the type of guy who will hold your hand firmly, walk on the outside of the street like a gentleman, and gently stroke your hair as you cuddle together in front of the tv. but i can't stop thinking about chemistry boy. when he kisses me all i want to do is kiss him back, and keep kissing him. i guess you can get bored of kissing someone, just as the spark fades and people stop having sex. but i'm puzzled with this whole shindig. it's a nice type of confusion though.

it's been years since i've had chemistry with someone. i think. i don't even remember. apparently i had chemistry with the first guy i slept with. my friends remember it, but i certainly do not. maybe the sleaziness of this guy wiped all any existence of a sexual spark in my mind, but i cannot recollect any feelings as such. bygones.

chemistry is different to a connection. the one who got away and i had a connection, but i seriously do not have a desire to see him naked nor revisit that path. i love him dearly, but it's just too much water under the bridge. but i love him dearly, and i know he will be in my life long after the others have left.