speed dating?

friday night i had drinks and dinner with the girls - it was like a scene out of *that* tv show, given we were four professional well dressed ladies sitting in a sushi dive talking about life and men in the city.

recovering from the episode with harry burns, i had no appetite and polished off several martinis and ended up texting party boy from three weeks ago as he'd suggested a drink but i had other plans. turns out he was in my neighbourhood so we ended up for a drink around the corner before the bar kicked us out. 30mins, 2 drinks and some good conversation later we bade each other good night and went our separate ways. i'm not sure if it was a date but if so it was the shortest date in history, and quite a nice one at that. guess i'd forgotten what it's like to have nice dates. there are some gentlemen out there in this city, maybe, and good dates can be had.

and the feelings are definitely as one sided as a fat kid on a seesaw

so harry burns has met someone, in fact he had met someone a few weeks ago but they haven't hung out until recently. and proceeded to hang out for days on end. which proves my theory wrong. guess he didn't secretly like me and didn't know it.

am feeling depressed and wish i had more vodka in the house. and i've put on weight, which is never a plus. oh boy.

banging my head against a brick wall

i was in cab heading down to hudson street for dinner when i got a text message from the guy who stayed over but never called. an explicit semi-completed text which made me wonder what on earth he got up to that night when he knew i was away.

a bit of text bantering later he called. at some ungodly hour of the morning for him. i have no idea what this means - and we're not talking romance here, just hooking up. it was nice, a bit of distraction really from harry burns. who i stupidly and drunkenly texted about eight hours later, embolded by the saucy text from another man and copious amounts of vodka.

which was just ridiculous because all my friends are telling me to play it cool. and i know they're right but i just don't. it's like relationship kamakaze. i have no idea why i seem to specialise in that. harry never texts me out of the blue, and certainly not when he's drunk. he calls his ex instead.

he's made it explicitly clear that he's not interested and i'm certainly not stupid enough to try and convince another flake to enter into a relationship with me. it sounds like i need to go out more and have more distractions. starting tomorrow night.