the single london girl who just hit 30
i have a group of antipodean girlfriends who just turned 30. they also happen to have in the past 12-24 months come out of a long term relationship with their first serious boyfriend.
and they all seem lost.
i remember when i turned 30 i was freaked out and disappointed with how little i had achieved of my plan. i was also unmistakably single. actually funnily enough on my 30th i ran into someone from my past who was a total and absolute mistake, a bad judgment call in a moment of weakness when i was young and bored. but i had learned and loved myself enough to take it as a sign from the universe that with my wrinkles came wisdom. and i remember leaving the subway with this sense of freedom - that i didn't settle for something and someone substandard just for the sake of being with someone. well, not yet...
london, like all big cities, is a difficult place to be single.
the thing is, coming out of long term relationships after being accustomed to companionship from an other half for nearly a decade, you will feel slightly felt empty and lonely. and these friends, being socially competitive like most big city girls, suddenly felt like they didn't measure up. so each began to seek validation and to fill the void in their own way.
cassandra, the exotic asian with a killer body and long flowing hair like a balinese princess sought quantity in numbers. though she didn't really need to seek as men flocked to her like bees to honey - the girl could not walk down the street without stopping traffic. cassandra had come out of a five year relationship whereby she spent three years without sex and thus embarked upon the kind of validation outside the relationship activities typical of such scenarios. it was a pattern than she seemed to repeat - an apparent need to validate each relationship with extra-curricular activities. this was not helped by her falling in love with a man at her work, who though single happened to be in the complicated set up of living with his ex who also happens to be the mother of his child. man chose child and family over cassandra, yet man typically of male losers, after a year, still wanted cassandra and expected her not to move on.
stephanie, the perky athletic australian beach girl had bounced from fling to fling, always remaining optimistic that her prince will come. she would launch into these monologues analysing these men and her relationships until the cows come home and in the same breath declare that she is over them and there is no need to talk about it. steph as of late also become involved with someone at her work. things are made more complex by the fact that said colleague is engaged. the fact that the fiancee seems to be one sandwich short of a picnic is irrelevant - one has to question his sincerity with either girl with such chicken shit behaviour. nevertheless, steph is a bit down at the moment as chickenpoop boy has decided to fess up to his fiancee and they are now in therapy - though how one does couples therapy when they live in different countries is slightly beyond my understanding.
what i don't understand is how there are so many fantastic single women, yet no fantastic single men.
and they all seem lost.
i remember when i turned 30 i was freaked out and disappointed with how little i had achieved of my plan. i was also unmistakably single. actually funnily enough on my 30th i ran into someone from my past who was a total and absolute mistake, a bad judgment call in a moment of weakness when i was young and bored. but i had learned and loved myself enough to take it as a sign from the universe that with my wrinkles came wisdom. and i remember leaving the subway with this sense of freedom - that i didn't settle for something and someone substandard just for the sake of being with someone. well, not yet...
london, like all big cities, is a difficult place to be single.
the thing is, coming out of long term relationships after being accustomed to companionship from an other half for nearly a decade, you will feel slightly felt empty and lonely. and these friends, being socially competitive like most big city girls, suddenly felt like they didn't measure up. so each began to seek validation and to fill the void in their own way.
cassandra, the exotic asian with a killer body and long flowing hair like a balinese princess sought quantity in numbers. though she didn't really need to seek as men flocked to her like bees to honey - the girl could not walk down the street without stopping traffic. cassandra had come out of a five year relationship whereby she spent three years without sex and thus embarked upon the kind of validation outside the relationship activities typical of such scenarios. it was a pattern than she seemed to repeat - an apparent need to validate each relationship with extra-curricular activities. this was not helped by her falling in love with a man at her work, who though single happened to be in the complicated set up of living with his ex who also happens to be the mother of his child. man chose child and family over cassandra, yet man typically of male losers, after a year, still wanted cassandra and expected her not to move on.
stephanie, the perky athletic australian beach girl had bounced from fling to fling, always remaining optimistic that her prince will come. she would launch into these monologues analysing these men and her relationships until the cows come home and in the same breath declare that she is over them and there is no need to talk about it. steph as of late also become involved with someone at her work. things are made more complex by the fact that said colleague is engaged. the fact that the fiancee seems to be one sandwich short of a picnic is irrelevant - one has to question his sincerity with either girl with such chicken shit behaviour. nevertheless, steph is a bit down at the moment as chickenpoop boy has decided to fess up to his fiancee and they are now in therapy - though how one does couples therapy when they live in different countries is slightly beyond my understanding.
what i don't understand is how there are so many fantastic single women, yet no fantastic single men.
posted by londoncitizengirl at 12:51 PM
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