the toy boy

michaela has a new man, a toy boy who's as much younger than her as spy guy is older than me. you could say we're testing both ends of the spectrum.

she's over the moon and in complete bliss as he's pretty eager, romantic and affectionate. i can't help but live vicariously through her enthusiasm and excitement, experiencing a euphoria purely from her positivity. he does the cutest things,  makes thoughtful little gestures, can't keep his hands off her and i get the feeling he can't stop thinking about her. it's obvious he has good taste and is besotted with michaela, and it made me wish the men in my life were more overt in their affections, or are more into me.

but then toy boy is from a culture of hot-blooded males, and spy guy is from a culture of rational, noncommittal and slightly reserved males. though both guys have an appreciation for high fashion and are good in bed, but that's where the similarity ends.

listening to michaela's description of toy boy was a good reality check on my feelings for spy guy.
we've known since day one it can't go anywhere long term. not unless both of us are prepared to make huge decisions to change our lives.

and i suspect he does not think about me half as much as i think about him. which is at least once a day. he may try and use language as an excuse, but i think if you like someone, you like them. enough said. when i think about someone all the time, i want contact. i want to speak to them, i want to see them, i want to be in bed with them. though typically if i get all of that, i get bored and move on. i get the feeling spy guy is trying to ration me - either to maintain his own levels of interest, or as he said, to stop our friendship crashing and burning for moving to fast.

all in all, toy boy 1, spy guy 0